Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Just Like You Should Be.

Today I’m a cranky wife.
Not at anyone in particular, just in general. Because I’m working an hour later than usual the rest of the week and The Deputy has side jobs and work the rest of the week, I’ll be missing him by a few minutes in the evening. It’s always been weird coming home while he gets ready to leave, but this week I’ll be getting home after he’s already gone. And of course I can handle coming home alone and entertaining myself. Easy. But I’ll admit, I love that guy. And I love hanging out with him, even if it is just us and the cat, squished on the small couch, watching Frasier on Netflix until bed time.
The crankiness was with me already when I woke up this morning, which prompted the question, “So basically it’s your job to sit by while everyone else has a life, and make sure they don’t kill each other…?” when The Deputy found out he’s ‘on call’ for National Night Out. He smiled and said, “Pretty much!”
Am I being a tad dramatic today? You bet. I know he chose this career and I chose to marry into it and I know he does more than just mediate drunken fights. But every now and then I get annoyed when he works on holidays, events, fairs, whatever…in order for everyone else to be able to have a good time.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Good.

Dear Deputy:

It dawns on me at random moments that you have a dangerous job. This job demands many things from you, but over all, it requires bravery. The brave are those who put their own needs aside to protect those of others. The brave don't listen to fear, they ignore doubt, they put their own insecurities aside...all for the sake of protecting what's good, what's right. But where do the brave find protection?

That’s where I find my place.

When I read my vows and took your name, I was promising to be more than your wife. I became your safe place. I became the one you told your secrets to, the one you want to “get away” with, the one you trust to someday raise our children, the one you believe is strong enough to follow the path your duty calls you down.

Every time we say a prayer before you leave, every time you get your work stories off your chest, every time you slide into bed next to me after your shift and hold me tight I’m reminded that even the brave need a place to rest.

I’m thankful your place is me.