Thursday, November 14, 2013

Foodless.

I have a serious case of blogger-inadequacy this morning.

Every where I look, someone has managed to not only make something delicious to feed themselves (and probably their children and husbands) with but also has a seriously professional picture to catalog it's existence before it became a distant memory that you had to recline in your chair to make enough room in your stomach for, then call out for someone to bring you a heat lamp to help aid in your digestion. (Does everyone not eat like I do?) 

True story: I had to use a DICTIONARY to look up the spelling of a word and I have a serious run on sentence looming above everyone right now. I'm a mess today. 

But what do you expect from me? In Blogging Land (yes, it's real) I'm basically a court jester. Entertaining, probably wearing a hat with bells on it, jingling about the castle. (I'll admit, my knowledge about medieval times is almost non-existent. So my facts are probably skewed or completely imaginary). You can find me on any given day, laughing at my own jokes and talking to myself. (You know this, you've read the previous posts). 

In any case I won't be posting pictures of the meals I whipped up out of leftovers, I won't be sharing recipes of 'from-scratch' breads or showcasing jams I made from the garden I planted in the bathroom sink. 

Instead, I should start blogging "What I Didn't Make for Dinner". It would feature pictures of empty plates: "This is the plate I didn't use when I ate green olives out of the jar last night". I could show a picture of the empty crockpot: "Mmmm...this is what I didn't smell when I came home from work because I forgot The Deputy had SWAT today (instead of his usual work schedule) and that I would even need a meal later! Delicious." It could instead feature restaurant menus, movie theater popcorn bags, pizza boxes, leftovers in my fridge from OTHER people's cooking. I'm the lady with a thousand recipes saved on her phone, who still has no idea what to make when she gets home. 

Am I over dramatizing again? Absolutely not. But you get my point. My blog is a lone ranger. Where are the bloggers who don't make 4-course meals for dinner every night? Where are the bloggers who don't find the thrill in spending hours in the kitchen prepping? Where are the bloggers who actually enjoy ordering pizza, who don't actually know what most of the spices on the rack are for, who don't know how to do anything with a pumpkin beyond carving it and roasting the seeds? 

I need you. 

I also need some temporary redemption.

Here's the one thing I love to do in the kitchen:

Gentleman Cupcakes for The Nephew's Dedication

Wedding Shower cookies for our wedding last summer...

Valentine Cupcakes!

Cars cupakes for The Nephew's 2nd Birthday

Birthday cookies for a friend...
'Thank You' cupcakes for some awesome people...


So the kitchen isn't completely foreign to me. But on the blogging scale, I might as well be huddled in a corner, while my potatoes boil over and the fried chicken re-fries itself, talking to my hand.

1 comment:

  1. Seriously, there are too many food bloggers in the world. Keep your blog just the way it is. Entertaining and funny.

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